I’ve been feeling a bit down lately. I’m not so sure I like how my mural is turning out, the publishing industry seems to be moving at a snail’s pace, and my mother still isn’t talking to me.Of course I’ve seen worse calamities, but there are just some days and/or weeks when that sinking feeling just won’t go away. Sometimes it grabs me by the throat even when nothing seems to be sinking; everything appears to be fine.
So what is it? Psychology, guilt, the residual pain of childhood, missing my mom, boredom, selfishness, hormones? Who knows, but when it hits, the most important thing I do is to get busy coaching myself out of it. I think about all the things I have to be thankful for (there’s a lot!). I look at the beauty around me (again, a lot!). I smile because Dad always told me that if you put a smile on your face, you’ll eventually feel like smiling (it works!). I make a “to do” list. I write. I paint. I read.
And more recently — I think about Aberration Nation and all the heroes who have shared their stories here.
See, I don’t just write this blog for you, I write it for me. It’s great therapy, especially when the sink sets in. For many years, probably through my early twenties, that stinky sink greeted me every morning, almost without fail. But as an adult, I’ve managed to keep it at bay, only allowing it to stay for a few weeks at a time. Sometimes I pretend it’s not there until it fades away in much the same way it crept in. I’ve come to accept it as part of who I am and have tried to take from it what I can in terms of positives: compassion, empathy, experiencing a wider range of emotion, creative insight, my body telling me to either slow down or get busy, etc. I am who I am, and I’ve learned to channel and twist a tremendous amount of negative emotion toward positive ends–but it’s not always easy.
So today the sink is my visitor, and together we will welcome Prophetess Lori McKenney to Aberration Nation. If anyone has a reason for a sinking feeling, it’s her. Yet Lori marches on, ministering to others because she understands their pain and suffering. (Her beautiful smile alone lifts my spirit!) She knows exactly where the sink in life comes from, and her life mission is to help lift others out so they can know the type of metamorphosis she has experienced. Sadly, many of us need a total overhaul. Other simply need an every-once-in-a-while-mini transformation, because even after a metamorphosis, we’re still only human.
In her book, Transformation, Lori explains the four stages a caterpillar must achieve before it transforms into a beautiful butterfly. In correlation, she imparts how the human heart and mind is connected in the complete metamorphosis process we can all experience.
You have said that your childhood wasn’t normal. Can you tell us a little bit about what it was like in your Hampton, Virginia home?
Most children don’t come home and see their family members shooting at each other. I grew up in Hampton, Virginia in a city that has gone through many changes. Hampton is a nice place but I was exposed to some bad things growing up there. When I think back on those difficult times, I realize that many generational curses hovered over my family. Due to lack of discernment, these curses eventually became strongholds. My family was in great need of Jesus Christ.
Throughout the years, I noticed that my parents had different goals. My mother was raised very different from my father. My father was a concrete finisher. I watched him day after day work hard to provide for the family. When he came home from work, he cooked dinner for me and my two brothers. I don’t remember too much family time such as playing games, running through the house, having pillow fights, or outside events with my parents.
The memories of my mother are very little because she only lived a short time; I will explain later. Her background consisted of partying, getting drunk, and a lot of sexual immorality. I remember her always being at my grandmother’s house where there was a lot of prostitution and bootleg activity. There were also many people around–many of whom I would see one day and then the next some evil metamorphosis caused their lives to be shortened, even to the point of death. There was often a lot fighting in my family. Sometimes they would literally shoot at each other.
For all these reasons, my childhood wasn’t normal. There were times I had to put a dresser in front of the door to get some rest because of the strange men who were always in and out of my grandmother’s house. I was never raped–thank you, Jesus.
God knew he was about to change the pattern of my life. A complete metamorphosis was going to take place.
How did your home environment shape your teenage and young adult years? Were you able to overcome what you’d been through at that point?
No, it caused me to run away from home. I was very angry with my father because he eventually killed my mother. It led me to marry a man who abused me physically and mentally. I was eventually able to overcome this by forgiving my father.
When I excepted Jesus Christ into my heart, I began to see God transform my life. God changed my heart and mindset. I begin to have a different view about what my life would be.
The concept of metamorphosis is central now to your ministry. How did you come to start your ministry? Was it something you had always wanted to do or did it evolve as well?
Transformation is central to my ministry now because the process I had to go through to get to this level was painful but it ultimately worked out for my good.
It was simply God.
Although you suffered as a child, you now have so much to give to others. Do you believe that the suffering you experienced was part of God’s overall plan for your life? Many people wonder why God would have us suffer at all. What are your thoughts on this?
Yes, I believe God allowed this process to happen so that he could eventually get the glory. My years of rejection, negative thoughts, depression, suicidal thoughts, hate, and bitterness has enabled me to minister to all types of people.
My Christian upbringing taught me that God loves all people, and that we should first worry about ourselves before judging others. Why do so many Christians seem to spend a lot of time judging others? In your view, is that how they should be spending their time? Doesn’t God just want us to be happy? How can we be happy if we’re so wrapped up in telling everyone how to live their lives based on our religious doctrine? I believe love is the underlying message that so often gets lost in the shuffle.
God loves people. I don’t believe He wants us to judge others. He wants us to be open and allow people to come to us to get Godly wise so He can give them a successful life.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version)